“Ordinary Resilience” (Book Review)
“Ordinary Resilience: Rethinking How Effective Leaders Adapt and Thrive” got me to reflect on the moments where I either showed or lacked resilience. Luis Velasquez, an experienced executive coach, shares personal experiences and client stories to help readers shift their mindset when dealing with challenges.
Survival vs Adaptive Mode — Velasquez draws a critical distinction between two ways of responding to challenges. In survival mode, you see problems as something to endure — you put your head down, grind through, and hope things improve. I’ve definitely been in survival mode during challenging product development cycles or when dealing with difficult stakeholder feedback.
The alternative is “adaptive mode” where problems become opportunities to learn and grow. An adaptive mindset is about changing how you think, not just how you behave. In survival mode, you might be incredibly persistent, but there’s no room to view hardship as a learning opportunity. There’s no dreaming about the future because there’s no room to dream.
Reframing Through Questions — Asking yourself “What am I going to do about this?” is a simple way to develop an adaptive mindset. This reframing helps you see possibilities and start moving forward one step at a time. How will I respond? How will I take charge? What am I going to do about this now? These questions force intentional action.
Embracing Feedback — Velasquez makes the point that resilient leaders actively seek feedback and accept they might be wrong. It reminded me of product leader Ebi Atawodi’s insight: “it’s easy for the ego to resist, to push back, instead of leaning into curiosity and asking: What can I learn here? Could I have done something differently?”
Optimism as a framework — According to Velasquez, optimism consists of three components: a growth mindset that sees setbacks as learning opportunities, a positive outlook about yourself and others, and the ability to accept responsibility for mistakes without dwelling on them.
Main learning point: Resilience isn’t about grinding through challenges — it’s about shifting from survival to adaptive thinking. The simple question “What am I going to do about this?” can transform how you approach problems, turning obstacles into opportunities for growth and learning.
